Monster Montana Gourmet Grass-Fed Burgers

by Steven Wright

Montana Moster Burger

There’s burgers… and then there’s BURGERS!

Today, we are talking about the latter. And I’m going to share with you my new SCD legal lettuce bun that is actually a bun rather than some sloppy pieces of lettuce that drop the whole sandwich and ooze contents everywhere. Those buns might as well be taco shells.

SCD legal burgers don’t have to be lame and boring. To the contrary, part of learning to enjoy a grain-free life is going the extra mile with real food. Spending the extra 2 bucks to get all the condiments you’d like, for instance, is a must.

Food is fun, a celebration. And in party fashion, as I leave Jordan’s place in Montana, we went out with a bang last night.

We used Alderspring grass-fed beef on the recommendation of Dave Asprey and decided to create some MONSTER gourmet burgers.

What This Monster Burger Will Do for You

Let’s begin with a list of what this burger will do. I don’t want you to be surprised, if you undertake the challenge to recreate it.

  • It will fall apart on you
  • It will melt in your mouth, and on your hands… and on  your face… and on your table
  • It will make you giggle when you build it and it topples over
  • It will leave you really, really full… (really)
  • It will create hilarious photo opportunities
  • It will leave you satisfied (you may not eat for days)
  • (NOTE: It may require extra Betaine HCL)

WARNING: Please be aware this burger might change your life.  In fact, I don’t recommend you eat it now, or anytime, Ever.

3/4 Pound Grass-Fed Montana Monster Burger

So to begin… start with bacon ( duh).

Bake it in the oven at 400 degrees for approximately 15 minutes to get those nice, flat picture quality pieces.  No floppy bacon allowed on this burger.

Next, get the highest quality beef you can find. We used 2 pounds of Aldersprings ground beef. We mashed sea salt, ground pepper, organic garlic powder, organic onion powder, organic basil, organic cilantro and cumin in the ground burger. Mix it in a bowl and form 2 large 3/4 pound patties and 2 smaller 1/4 pound patties.

NOTE: From here on out, proceed with caution and keep all hands and feet inside the moving vehicle.

Transfer these bad whammer jammers into a medium heat pan that you have a lid for. Cook for 8-12 minutes per side depending on thickness. Goal is medium rare (don’t you ruin that precious meat).

Ideally, the grill would make these epic burgers even that much more amazing.

As the burgers are browning, mash 2 small avocados in a bowl, add in sea salt, garlic powder, cilantro and 1/2 of juice of fresh lime. Mix up for some fast guacamole and set aside.

Next, slice up the onion and tomatoes or any other vegetables you plan to use.

Lastly, it’s’ time to create the new and improved ‘Lettuce Bun 5000’ (TM).

Begin with a full head of lettuce, remove the outer layers, and get rid of any bad spots. Next, plan to cut 1.5 to 2 inch thick slices from the outside. Start by trimming the root so it sits flat on your cutting board.  Then slice off the 4 sides at desired thickness.  The pieces should be about the same diameter as the burgers.

Assemble the Beauty and the Beast Burger

Begin with half of the ‘Lettuce Bun 5000’ (TM).

Lettuce bun 5000 TM

Layer on bacon goodness.

bacon bacon bacon

Add 3/4 pound grass-fed beef patty of amazingness.

burger patty

Next add vegetable layers of onion and tomato.

Adding flavor

Carefully place large amount of guacamole on top (this will serve as adhesive for top bun)

More Fat Please

Assemble rest of ‘Lettuce Bun 5000’ (TM) and bask in the glory of the 13th wonder of the world.

Eat the beast

Then chow down with no reservations.

All Done

If you dare to re-create this amazing experience, let us know in the comments. Or if you just end up switching over to the ‘Lettuce Bun 5000’ (TM) grain-free buns that’s cool too.

-Steve

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About the author

Steven Wright Steve Wright is a health engineer and author. In 2009, he reached a breaking point when IBS took over his life and the doctors didn't know how to help. Since then, he has transformed his health and started SCDLifestyle.com to help others naturally heal stomach problems. You can check out his story here and find him on Google+, Facebook or Twitter.

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{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }

Corben June 24, 2013 at 1:35 pm

Nice “bun” work. Personally, I prefer to use Ham as my bun of choice, but I can see how some might need a little ruffage to “process” that BEAST. Nice use of the hoodie to hide from the My Plate police. Don’t want them to know you are not consuming your share of subsidy crops, er.. “healthy whole grains”.

Reply

Lisa Headley June 24, 2013 at 1:56 pm

I loved this! This inspired hope in my heart and made me literally laugh out loud! Thank you! *giggling*

Reply

elizellen June 27, 2013 at 8:47 am

Looks good – but I usually use two large flat mushrooms as my “bun”

Reply

Viv Webb August 26, 2015 at 8:12 pm

I do this sort of thing. But I cook the mest through. MAP bacteria (thought by some to contribute to causing IBD) are on the outside of meat due to processing. Grinding meat mixes it all the way through … So to kill any, I cook well done. ?

Reply

Mariel Heiss August 27, 2015 at 6:31 pm

Hi Viv, thanks so much for commenting.

We really encourage you to only eat humanely-raised, locally-sourced, and self-ground meat – this will greatly lessen your chance of having any kind of bacteria contamination with your meat.

You can find locally-sourced meat near you using this site: eatwild.com

We don’t have any peer-reviewed research MAP bacteria and meat, but we encourage you to continue being empowered to make your own decisions and pursue the best choices for you and your health 🙂

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