There’s burgers… and then there’s BURGERS!
Today, we are talking about the latter. And I’m going to share with you my new SCD legal lettuce bun that is actually a bun rather than some sloppy pieces of lettuce that drop the whole sandwich and ooze contents everywhere. Those buns might as well be taco shells.
SCD legal burgers don’t have to be lame and boring. To the contrary, part of learning to enjoy a grain-free life is going the extra mile with real food. Spending the extra 2 bucks to get all the condiments you’d like, for instance, is a must.
Food is fun, a celebration. And in party fashion, as I leave Jordan’s place in Montana, we went out with a bang last night.
What This Monster Burger Will Do for You
Let’s begin with a list of what this burger will do. I don’t want you to be surprised, if you undertake the challenge to recreate it.
- It will fall apart on you
- It will melt in your mouth, and on your hands… and on your face… and on your table
- It will make you giggle when you build it and it topples over
- It will leave you really, really full… (really)
- It will create hilarious photo opportunities
- It will leave you satisfied (you may not eat for days)
- (NOTE: It may require extra Betaine HCL)
WARNING: Please be aware this burger might change your life. In fact, I don’t recommend you eat it now, or anytime, Ever.
3/4 Pound Grass-Fed Montana Monster Burger
So to begin… start with bacon ( duh).
Bake it in the oven at 400 degrees for approximately 15 minutes to get those nice, flat picture quality pieces. No floppy bacon allowed on this burger.
Next, get the highest quality beef you can find. We used 2 pounds of Aldersprings ground beef. We mashed sea salt, ground pepper, organic garlic powder, organic onion powder, organic basil, organic cilantro and cumin in the ground burger. Mix it in a bowl and form 2 large 3/4 pound patties and 2 smaller 1/4 pound patties.
NOTE: From here on out, proceed with caution and keep all hands and feet inside the moving vehicle.
Transfer these bad whammer jammers into a medium heat pan that you have a lid for. Cook for 8-12 minutes per side depending on thickness. Goal is medium rare (don’t you ruin that precious meat).
Ideally, the grill would make these epic burgers even that much more amazing.
As the burgers are browning, mash 2 small avocados in a bowl, add in sea salt, garlic powder, cilantro and 1/2 of juice of fresh lime. Mix up for some fast guacamole and set aside.
Next, slice up the onion and tomatoes or any other vegetables you plan to use.
Lastly, it’s’ time to create the new and improved ‘Lettuce Bun 5000’ (TM).
Begin with a full head of lettuce, remove the outer layers, and get rid of any bad spots. Next, plan to cut 1.5 to 2 inch thick slices from the outside. Start by trimming the root so it sits flat on your cutting board. Then slice off the 4 sides at desired thickness. The pieces should be about the same diameter as the burgers.
Assemble the Beauty and the Beast Burger
Begin with half of the ‘Lettuce Bun 5000’ (TM).
Layer on bacon goodness.
Add 3/4 pound grass-fed beef patty of amazingness.
Next add vegetable layers of onion and tomato.
Carefully place large amount of guacamole on top (this will serve as adhesive for top bun)
Assemble rest of ‘Lettuce Bun 5000’ (TM) and bask in the glory of the 13th wonder of the world.
Then chow down with no reservations.
If you dare to re-create this amazing experience, let us know in the comments. Or if you just end up switching over to the ‘Lettuce Bun 5000’ (TM) grain-free buns that’s cool too.